Five Tips to Help You Deal with Your Emotional Triggers
How to Free Yourself From the Past and Embrace the Future
Hello Fellow Cycle Breaker!
I hope you had a relaxing and rejuvenating Christmas and New Year’s break. One thing I’ve learned a lot about in the last few years are how to manage my triggers.
Here are my quick and dirty tips to learn to RESPOND rather than REACT when you are feeling triggered.
Take control of your emotional triggers by increasing your awareness and developing new ways of responding.
Understanding Your Emotional Triggers
1. Learn the definition of triggers.
A trigger is an experience that draws us back into the past and causes old feelings and behaviors to arise. An ice cream sandwich may remind you of summer vacations your child’s disrespectful tone might trigger feeling powerless with your own parent.
2. Spot external prompts.
Some triggers are situational and social. Many people tend to eat more at holiday gatherings or may be vulnerable to certain behaviors in certain situations. Become aware of your mood when it shifts quickly, especially around toxic people.
3. Identify internal causes.
How are you talking to yourself? Is your internal critic berating you for not being perfect? Journal what you are thinking, get out of your head and reflect on the garbage that might be feeding your negative self talk.
4. Realize we all have triggers.
Much of the literature about triggers focuses on addictions. It's important to remember that memory plays a powerful role in all our lives and understanding we are all human doing our best with what we’ve got can help us be more gentle with ourselves and others.
5. Accept individual differences.
If you're startled by loud noises that your spouse fails to notice, you've seen how differently people react to the same stimulus. Be up front about your needs and focus on meeting those needs even when it might be uncomfortable for others. Accept that you are unique and special just the way you are.
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Weekly Cycle Breaker Parent Tip:
When Triggered, RESPOND don’t REACT
I firmly believe that triggers are the most beautiful and wonderful gifts our children give to us on a regular basis. There are special ways in which a child can provoke a deep rage in us that no other human on earth can do. The truth is that when we are triggered by our kids, it’s an unhealed wound likely from our own childhood of powerlessness, worthlessness or fear of sort.
***So the next time your kids trigger you, be grateful. Take a deep breath and RESPOND like this:
Mindset: Hmmm….that pisses me off! I’m curious to know why….
Say: “Kids, I need to take a break, I’m really triggered right now. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Get curious about what set you off. You’ll be surprised about what your inner child might share with you if you are able to be quiet and ask without judgement. Remember, your kids are watching you…if you are constantly reacting, how are they going to learn how to control their own emotions?
If you are ready to master your mindset and detach your ego from your child’s behavior, let’s chat. This is my specialty and I LOVE helping parents break through this block. It held me hostage for years, I know how miserable it can be!
Click on the button below to set up a free Strategy Session with me to get you the transformation you deserve!
***This tip is just one from dozens of transformational parenting tools in my new Rockstar Parenting Skills Training.
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If you want to kick off 2024 feeling empowered and confident as a parent, check out the package below:
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