Stop Telling Your Kids What Do.
Three Tips of What to Do Instead to Inspire Cooperative Behavior!
🤩Hey there Badass Cycle Breaker!🤩
Over the years, I have heard parents complain big time about how their kids just won’t listen. They tell me that no matter what they say, their kids just tune them out.
Here’s a secret that I wish I had known when I was struggling as a parent:
Kids don’t like being bossed around.
It might sound cliche, but it’s true. And in fact, most adults don’t like being bossed around either.
In fact, just last night I was at my kids school for an open house and the teacher was sharing how important it is for second graders (my youngest is 7) to be taught how to problem solve and begin to use their thinking skills to seek solutions rather than just doing what they are told to do.
This is something I not only agree with but also teach parents how to do on a daily basis so I was encouraged to know that Nico, my son is getting the same kind of problem solving support at school as we try to give hime at home.
Did you know that when we tell our kids what to do and order them around, we are actually increasing the likelihood that they will become defiant? It’s true!
So how can we can we get kids to cooperate and listen AND not always be telling them what to do? I’m so glad you asked!
Below are THREE TIPS from a module in my new program, Crack the Cooperation Code: Master Your Messaging So Your Kids Will Finally Listen and Stop Tuning You Out!
Three Tips to Get Your Kids to Listen & Cooperate Without Bossing Them Around:
1. Offer Age Appropriate Choices:
Stop demanding, nagging and telling them what to do. Your children are smart and capable, help them feel that way. Offer them some autonomy and choices throughout their day so they feel like they have some control over their experience.
Examples: “Would you rather wear your blue shirt or your red shirt today?” “Would you like to brush your teeth before or after putting on your pajamas?” “Would you prefer to eat brocolli or carrots with your dinner?”
2. Ask Them Curiosity Questions:
Ask questions that invite their thinking and problem solving skills.
Rather than asking them: “can you please go get your backpack for you?” you can say: “What do you need to bring with you to school?”
More examples: “What do you need to do to be ready for bed so we can read a book?” “What do you need to do before we eat dinner?”
3. Whisper Instructions:
Yelling can silence your message so when you feel like yelling, know that it is likely because you aren’t feeling heard. Instead of raising your voice, lower your voice and whisper in their ear. Quieting your voice can amplify your message.
Examples, whisper: “Where do our shoes go when we get home from school?” “What do we do with our dishes when are we done eating?” “Can you use a calm voice so I can hear you better?”
*Try these Cycle Breaker Parenting Tips this week and hit reply and let me know how it goes or comment below!
Are you interested in learning more about how to Crack the Cooperation Code with your kids so you can master your messaging and get your kids to finally hear you and stop tuning you out??
Set up a FREE 30 Minute Consultation to learn more!
Random Thing…
So yesterday I was on a walk with my husky named Daisy and I decided to look myself up on Spotify. To my surprise, I found a podcast episode that I did a few years ago on Shit2TalkAbout.
We titled it: Healing Parenting with Evie Vieira
This is when I still went by Evie, I recently legally changed my name to Evelyn. Anyway, I listened to it and I thought I would share it with ya’ll!
I talk a lot about different ways to approach parenting so that your baggage doesn’t get in the way. We talk about how to address parenting in a shame-free way and how to understand the NEED behind the behavior of a child. Go ahead and click the button below to listen!
Well, until next week…have a good one and I look forward to hearing from you!
Don’t allow where you’ve come from to determine where you are going! You deserve more and so do your children:)
