Three Things Your Child Wants For Christmas
What Every Kid Truly Wants But Can't Ask For
Hello Fellow Cycle Breaker-
Today, I’m going to be sharing with you three things we all want to give our children but aren’t really sure how to talk about it.
So, let’s jump in!
When I was a child, Christmas was such a magical time of year. The music, the decorations, the cold weather, the family gatherings, yummy food, traditions and of course….presents.
Even though my family looked perfect on the outside, I felt empty and lonely on the inside. It never occurred to me that the loneliness or isolation I felt as a child was due to a dysfunctional family system. I thought I was the problem most of my life.
But at Christmas time, all of that melted away.
What was your childhood experience like? Feel free to share below:
In the spirit of the season, I thought it would be fun to change it up a bit and tap into what all children truly want (besides the latest video game or popular toy.)
So here it goes, here are 3 things I believe ALL children truly want but there’s no way to ask.
#1. Your Child Wants You to Deal With Your Baggage:
Your child doesn’t know we carry baggage as parents. And boy do we ever, especially when we have narcissistic parents and ex partners.
Your child doesn’t realize that your tendency to control them, your intensity to fix their problems or your high expectations are all due to family dysfunction and might be symptoms of narcissistic abuse. I didn’t realize that either until just a few years ago…It’s okay, it just means you are having a normal response to a bunch of bull shit you’ve had to deal with.
#2. Your Child Wants You to Take Responsibility for Your Emotional Reactions:
Yes, this is part of Dealing with Your Baggage. Don’t blame your child for causing you to REACT, instead learn how to RESPOND. Seriously, get Rockstar Parenting Skills and do yourself a favor this Christmas by learning how to communicate effectively and encourage cooperation without yelling, threatening and bribing. These tools have transformed our household from the inside out and I want you to get these tools NOW to help you break the cycle of insecure parenting:)
Photo by Liv Bruce on Unsplash
#3. Your Child Wants You to Let Them Struggle:
Ooof this is a tough one! When we are raised in dysfunction, especially with a narcissistic parent, we are taught from a young age to OVERFUNCTION for them.
Which means that we gained approval for listening to and supporting our parents emotionally. When we are parentified, essentially the role of parent and child are swapped and we learn to be responsible for other people’s problems.
In our own parenting, this “habit” robs our children of the ability to problem solve on their own and to develop a strong sense of self.
It is VERY uncomfortable to let someone struggle, especially your child. I get it, but it is part of teaching them the skills they need to become an emotionally resilient adult. Stop trying to fix everything for them. Instead, trust them (and yourself!) and deal with the consequences. Believe me, your kids will thank you later! It’s crucially important for kids to learn the cause and effect of their choices - let them be uncomfortable. It’s the most loving thing you can do! You can be supportive without fixing, rescuing or changing things for them.
Want to share this with a friend or family member who could benefit? Awesome, click on the button below!
Weekly Cycle Breaker Parent Tip:
Don’t Fix, Just Use Reflective Listening
When your kiddo tells you they hate their teacher or that soccer sucks and they never want to go to practice ever again…PAUSE. Whatever you do, DON’T explain, justify or for godsake don’t lecture.
INSTEAD, you can respond with: “Okay, I hear that you really don’t like your teacher teacher right now. They must’ve done something to upset you. Tell me more.”
Then just. Listen. For real, shut your mouth and don’t say a word.
Wait…then wait some more or reflect back what you heard them say again.
No judgement. No criticism. No correcting.
Try this out and let us know how it goes by commenting below:
Click on the link below to learn more and start using these Rockstar Parenting Skills today!
***This tip is just one from dozens of transformational parenting tools in my new Rockstar Parenting Skills on-demand class!!!
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