Three Ways to Screw Up Your Kids
How to Almost Guarantee Your Kids Will Need Therapy As Adults
Well shit. I had a sucky weekend as a parent.
Not because my kids were insane (which they are most of the time) but because I just didn’t want to be “adulting” anymore.
Do you ever get tired of “adulting?”
Ugh…the laundry, the dishes, the questions, the constant everything. It. is. exhausting.
In a perfect world which only exists in my head, I would lay in bed napping all day, scrolling YouTube, order Chinese takeout and watch rom com’s all day. Or some documentary on narcissism because that actually sounds like fun to me. Weird I know. Don’t judge.
This is NOT the life of a parent and certainly not the life of a “parent coach.” We have stuff we have to do and unfortunately sometimes that means doing all the crap we don’t like doing.
But wait, before you put me on that very tall pedestal, please know that I’m just like you.
I’m struggling with this day to day business of raising a kid while being triggered…..then trying to figure out my trigger so I don’t screw up my kid….then getting distracted because now I have to cut and wash vegetables for dinner.
And hence, life goes on.
I have my good days and bad days, sometimes in the same day, hour or minute.
So this week, I’m flipping the topics on you.
I’ve hit my limit with trying to be a “fancy smancy parenting guru”, and today, instead I’m just going to be me sharing some wisdom on how to NOT screw up your kids because I feel like I come close some or all of the time.
Here we go!
***This is for humor purposes only and is NOT meant to be taken seriously as the following advice is what NOT to do with a child.
Three Ways Make Sure Your Kids Will Need Therapy As Adults:
#1). Blame Your Kids For Your Emotional Triggers:
Oof. Yep, this is gut puncher for sure! Kids are a pain in the butt and very inconvenient most or all of the time and bring up a lot of unhealed crap we have to deal with as parents.
*When they do something that triggers you, blame them without taking responsibility for your reaction and you will for sure be setting them up to become responsible for other people’s behavior.
WHAT YOUR KIDS MIGHT LEARN: They will likely learn to walk on eggshells, rescue people from their problems and they may tend to attract toxic relationships in the future.
#2). Live in Denial: What Childhood Trauma??!?
Don’t deal with your baggage…pain, childhood trauma or family dysfunction. Just pretend it doesn’t exist like the rest of your relatives and blame everyone else for your problems. If you don’t see, hear or talk about it - it doesn’t go away, this is guaranteed my friend!
*BTW, this is the most effective way to pass on generational trauma!
WHAT YOUR KIDS MIGHT LEARN: Your kids will likely also learn to live in denial and to NOT trust themselves as well. They may ignore problems, pretend like things are fine (when they are not) and project the family image you want them to project.
#3). Be a Control Freak and Take Everything Personally:
When we feel powerless as kids growing up in a dysfunctional family, it is a trauma response to control other people and our environment to help us feel safe. When we do this in parenting, it can backfire big time!
*From the eye roll to the slamming doors - make it all about you. Don’t bother asking them questions to find out what’s behind the behavior just judge them and make a bunch of irrational assumptions. You will for sure make an ass out of yourself and fail miserably as a parent.
WHAT YOUR KIDS MIGHT LEARN: That they have to rebel, lie, argue or become disrespectful in order to have an opinion or a voice. They will learn that pleasing others is more important than being true to themselves.
*Want your kid to be codependent??? Do all three of these and it is in the bag! Just coast through life blaming all your problems on everyone else and continue the same bull sh*t your parents fed you.
Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash
If you are seriously worried that the crap you are doing as a parent is screwing up your kids - you are becoming aware of how your “baggage” is getting passed down which is a big deal - congrats!
Want to do something about it and break the cycle?
Sweet! Set up a FREE consultation so you can stop feeling like a crappy parent!
