Okay ya’ll. I have a confession to make. I’ve been lying to you…
…not on purpose of course…
But I’ve not been as blunt and as true to myself as I want to be. Because I guess I want you to like me but I’m learning that wanting you to like me isn’t really the problem.
The problem comes in when my desire to convince you to like me is MORE IMPORTANT than my desire to be HONEST with myself.
So here it goes, I’m going to go out on a limb and be HONEST WITH MYSELF AND WITH YOU…
I’m a weird, quirky free spirit who loves sauces, craft beer and brunch. I think the above gif is funny so I threw it in here.
I don’t really fit in anywhere so sometimes I feel like I have to put on a mask and pretend to be someone I’m not…do you ever feel that way? Man, it’s exhausting isn’t it?
If yes, then hit reply and let me know something quirky and weird about you! Seriously, don’t leave me hangin here:)
The Real Reason I’ve Been Holding Myself Back…
I’ve been thinking:
“Well, no one wants to really talk about the dark side of parenting”
“That’s too bold to say, no one is going to like it.”
“I have to know everything in order to be an expert.”
“No one cares what I have to say.”
This is a Bunch of BullSh!T and I Know It
I realize that these thoughts suck and they aren’t getting me anywhere but I have been held hostage by them so now I am confessing them to you in hopes that together we can learn to be more truthful with ourselves and refuse to always “be nice” to keep up the status quo.
F “the status quo”
The status quo of our dysfunctional families programmed us to “play nice” and to not rock the boat, to keep the peace and stay quiet. We learned that we weren’t allowed to be honest about our feelings, our thoughts, our opinions or heaven forbid, the dysfunctional BS going on in our homes.
Nope, we were taught to lie to ourselves in order to gain external validation that never really came. To disregard our own boundaries and to hide the coolest most kickass parts of ourselves which is our own unique voices and gifts.
I have news for you… in order to break generational curses we must challenge the status quo, jump out of the frickin boat and ignite the fire within!
We have to stop striving to be perfect because we were made to be original!
So rather than trying so desperately to fit in, maybe the key to our own badassery is to embrace our quirks, our scars and the parts of ourselves we learned to hide in order to be invisible to survive our toxic upbringings? Our quirks make us stand out for a reason. Stop trying to fit in when you were made to stand out. Be honest about who you are because you are so much more of a badass than your dysfunctional family was ever able to see.
When we choose to “be nice” instead of being honest we are choosing to lie to ourselves and to disregard our own boundaries. That’s a problem.
There is a catch here though that I want to be very clear about.
Being honest and truthful with yourself DOES NOT mean that you need to be honest and truthful with family members or friends who will use your authenticity against you.
You have permission to BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF and to honor yourself by ONLY being honest with others who are capable of authentic connections. This most likely does not include the narcissist in your life.
Get in touch with you. Listen to your gut, it has wisdom you need to hear!
Thanks for listening and for reading/watching this. It really means a lot to know that I have a voice that matters even if it just helps one person.
Your voice matters too and I’m here to listen if you ever need someone to hear you for real:)
I've Been Lying to You...